It's Always Better Next Time

she's at my door,
she smells like sex and alcohol.
she says she loves me,
and can she crash here tonight?
this is the way this always goes,
i shouldn't say yes but i can never say no.
so she trips out of her clothes,
and here we go again.
i won't say i don't love her,
but this cycle is wearing on me.

so tell me if you know.
where does this leave us now?
somewhere between acceptance and denial,
a second time around.
thought we'd left this behind,
thought you'd pushed me far enough out of your indecisive mind,
but suddenly last night..
i'd almost forgotten the way you move,
the way you taste,
and the last time we were in this place.
and then suddenly last night,
does it mean anything to you?

you've never meant more to me,
and i feel like i've never meant less to you than right now.
and it leaves me wondering
if i've never been more than your favorite last resort.